I have been gone for awhile. I went to Spain. I feel more reborn than any church service or year of therapy could make me. About two days in, my perpetual hypervigilance and repetitive negative thoughts just eased up, and have yet to really return... Crossing my fingers. Something about the distraction of constant beauty, the messing with my circadian rhythm, the food pleasure, the bonding with one of my oldest friends - I can't stress what an incredible return on investment it was. (And I did it with a moderate tax return, so don't think its not possible for you - just stay in hostels, don't rent a car, and research flights ahead of time for best prices.) Ella gave me a post-trip blessing yesterday with the pronouncement, "Kid recess is going to small fields. Mama recess is going to big places."