Tuesday, July 26, 2011

so many blue butterflies!

Selective attention is kicking in, in full force. They are whirling around me everywhere. Yesterday I was welcomed to my friend's house by her sweet, beautiful daughter wearing a tank top with a magnificent blue butterfly across the front spotted with crystal beads. Her mom said she had just changed outfits for the arrival of me and my daughters.

About a week ago, I was in my friend Beth's foyer. I picked up a flyer she had from France about Paris, and opened it to an ad with a rich blond woman holding shopping bags in the midst of a ton of blue butterflies. I actually reacted because it triggered my Midwestern anti-wealth, anti-shopping, and anti-being-too-fancy instincts. The prostitution of my blue butterfly by Madison Avenue! Noooo!!!

Then I ended up making a bunch of unexpected money in the days between then and now. So much that every day, I've been able to go Walgreens or Michaels and grab all those backlogged wish-list household items (bathroom air freshener! lavender hand soap!) that I normally hold off on because of penny pinching. And if it keeps up, I might go to the mall and get myself a pretty mermaidy shrug I've had my eye on for months, to make my inner rich blond lady happy.

I took the kids to Target this morning because they have been a part of helping make the money, and got them toys. I felt abundant satisfaction at the sight of tension rods and allergen pillow protectors in my cart. (I can finally sew and hang curtains in my living room!) I turned around opposite the toy aisle, saw this, and smiled. So reassuring to have universe kindness bestowed on shopping, when it is something I have so many fears and restrictions around.