Tuesday, January 10, 2012

staying with it till it passes

Thich Nhat Hanh writes about being with your feelings the way a mother cares for their baby. I've been trying to do this all over again. (I wonder if you ever stop being a beginner in "how to be an emotional being"?) My tendency is just to Shut It Down or be afraid of certain emotions (especially embarassment or any of the negative ones).

This morning it was loneliness. I didn't want to take the kids to school. I felt drained by the lonely. After three days of mostly being by myself with the kids I feel depleted and cold and like I've completely lost my social skills or ability to be open. If a friend calls it takes me awhile to warm up. It's an isolation marathon and has been for awhile. I know many stay-at-home parents feel it.

On the plus side, I've been using part of the time to connect through writing a rough draft of a book. Might as well turn the lemons into lemonade. It's the silver lining of being a shy book girl - writing is your safe link to others.