Monday, June 4, 2012

love realisticness

I'm re-reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Committed and being so helped by it, even moreso than the first time around when I was freshly divorced. These words apply to me, and my love.

"There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves. These are no laughing matters, these faults. They can harm. They can undo. If we are at all self-aware, we work hard to keep these more dicey aspects of our natures under control, but they don't go away. Maybe creating a big enough space within your consciousness to hold and accept someone's contradictions - someone's idiocies, even - is a kind of divine act. What I am talking about is learning how to accommodate your life as generously as possible around a basically decent human being who can sometimes be an unmitigated pain in the ass. In the end, it seems to me that forgiveness may be the only realistic antidote we are offered in love, to combat the inescapable disappointments of intimacy. Immaculate mergers are impossible, but maybe we can live on together anyhow if we are polite and kind and careful not to spill too much blood."