Wednesday, December 12, 2012

what's next

Well, I'm going even more culturally strange. I want to dye the ends of my hair purple and blue, because I had a dream a few months ago that I looked in the mirror and that's the way it was, and it was awesome. I woke up and thought "I can't do that until I'm done being a bridesmaid in the two weddings this fall." A few weeks later I discovered that is the hair of the My Little Pony character Princess Celestia, who is the wise nurturing sage in my daughters' favorite show. Why the hell not? Who says a 31-year-old mom can't have purple and blue streaks in her hair? Lots of people, but I need to do it anyway.

I finished reading Carl Jung's autobiography and now I'm reading a book on experiential Native American wisdom. It already rocks, two chapters in - says to spend a year on a Healing Quest where you take 3 days off once a month, preferably during your period, to be alone in silence; you can listen to music with no words, but no other technology, only things you create yourself, journaling or dancing or sewing or painting or whatever you need to do - how many women could get off antidepressants if they would carve out time for this!! Some of it I can't track, and seems a little "out there," but apparently I am going more and more "out there" myself, and I know good soul food when I read it, and it is in this book. The author says women should never fast on retreat, they need nurturing (including through food and lots of water) because they are already suffering enough by having periods and wombs and by nurturing everyone they love. Fascinating!

Gideon made me an origami butterfly for an early Xmas present
I just ordered the I Ching. Carl Jung was recommending it and it's one of the oldest books humanity has (3,000 - 5,000 years old) - still selling with 5 stars on Amazon. It's supposed to be a manual of mystical wisdom from ancient China; the best translation is by a friend of Jung's named Richard Wilhem, who initially went to China as a Christian missionary and then fell in love with the spiritual wisdom there, and studied this book under an old sage who died right after they finished the translation together. Quentin Tarantino lovers, rejoice - this shit is fo real!!! Jung said Wilhelm's life calling was to make this book accessible to the west (because of his Christian inheritance, he knew how to write it in a way that our Western psyches would be most receptive to).

People, I am becoming a fruitcake, but this is what my heart is leading me to. Old wisdom books. Stuff that we cannot lose. I want to soak up as much good as I can, from all the trustworthy sages of all the people of the earth. God does not belong to one group of people, and how presumptuous for us to claim he does! I want to meet and love God everywhere I can. This is one of the great gifts of living at the point in history where we currently are: we can all be synthesizers and unifiers of experiences that even my grandma had no chance of having when she was 31. Our spirituality is going to have to expand, to transcend our tribes, because we are in such close proximity to each other now. This is super exciting, and radical empathy is required to make our way through the shapeshifting.

Incidentally, the name for God from the Native American woman's tribe is "the Great Mystery." That is perhaps the most exciting name for God I've ever heard. Nate was explaining to some friends of ours recently why he is agnostic and not an athiest: because the Universe is so big, his only response is "Who The Fuck Knows." A colloquial version of "the Great Mystery."

p.s. I also can't get enough of bright clothes with feathers or butterflies on them. F R U I T C A K E my mind says. Screw you, judgment brain. I have to be me.

p.p.s. Also, I am becoming obsessed with young people pop music. Go to YouTube and check out "Pop Danthology 2012." It is the best mash-up ever, and when Rihanna looks over her shoulder like an indigenous goddess at minute 5:40, that pretty much sums up my goal for my psyche in 2013.